Why Didn't Mike Nail Petra? "Rounders" Writers Finally Reveal The Answer

Virtually everyone who watches Rounders leaves with two questions:
  1. "How in the world could a guy bluff Johnny Chan on one pot and think that makes him the greatest player ever?"
  2. Petra practically dry humps Mike right after his Holly Hobby girlfriend leaves him, and he doesn't bang her? What the fuck?
Bill Simmons, one of the greatest sportswriters in the universe, sat down with Brian Koppelman and David Levien, the writers behind Rounders, for a hilarious and informative two part discussion[1], where he finally finds out why we didn't get to see some full-frontal from Famke Janssen[2] in their 1998 film.

Bill asks, "First, what guy on the planet would turn down some revenge-against-my-ex sex with Famke Janssen? Second, what guy on the planet would turn down sex with Famke Janssen? (I asked this in a column four years ago, and I'm asking again now: How was Johnny Chan the only man in that room who ended up flopping a nut straight?) And third, the movie was rated "R," anyway ... you guys couldn't have thrown in a gratuitous sex scene for no real reason? Would that have killed you? Or was there some sort of underlying homo-erotic context with the Worm-Mike McD friendship that you were going after that I missed? Please explain yourselves. Part of me will never forgive either of you for this."

To their credit, Koppelman and Levien answer directly and honestly, instead of pulling some bullshit like throwing their cards into the muck and saying, "I don't remember, John."

Their answer can be found through the link below. After you read it, I'm sure you'll join me in calling for an immediate remake.

(link via Iggy.)

[1] Linky to part one.
[2] Linky to some more Famke Janssen hawtness at Maxim. You're welcome.

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