You Dropped a Bomb on Me, Baby

The F-bomb rule in tournament poker is the dumbest fucking thing in the history of life, and should be fucking repealed right fucking now.

As an example, when we were down to four tables at the WPT Invitational, Mike Matusow got all his money in with a massively dominated hand (I forget what it was) and caught running cards to suckout. During his celebration, he turned his back to the table, and excitedly said to another player, "Dude! I fucking sucked out! Yeah!"

He was immediately assessed a ten-minute penalty, at a time when every round counted (thirty minute levels, and very short stacks all around, relative to the blinds.)

All the pros, dealers, and even a few WPT employees agreed that it was completely fucking stupid, but there was nothing anyone could do about it.

The biggest problem with the F-bomb rule, other than its wildly inconsistent and arbitrary enforcement, is that douchebags often use it to angle-shoot. Some dipshit will goad another player into muttering an F-bomb, call the TD, and get the offending player busted.

If you're one of those angle-shooting douchebags, I'd like to invite you to go fuck yourself, and I'd also like to advise you to avoid playing tournaments at Hustler:
I was playing a tourney at Hustler casino in LA one night. At the final table a player said "fuck" after a turn card that looked very dangerous for his hand. The other player in the hand called the Tournament Director over and requested a penalty.

The TD said "This is Hustler, and Larry Flynt believes in freedom of speech, now play your fucking hand."

Play your fucking hand, indeeed, you fuckin' fuck.

(image via katelog, story via everyone's favorite poker-playing, f-bomb-dropping, Guinness-fueled dwarf)

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